Helping Couples Heal Podcast

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Welcome to the Helping Couples Heal podcast. If you have lost hope around healing your relationship due to infidelity, relational or betrayal trauma you have come to the right place. Helping Couples Heal is an ongoing podcast designed to help couples recover and heal from the impact of betrayal trauma on their relationships. We cumulatively bring over two decades of experience and expertise in the field of betrayal. Throughout this podcast series, we will offer resources and support and teach you the tools and skills necessary to heal your relationship. You will also hear from recovered addicts, partners, and couples who will share their stories, as well as from experts in the field of betrayal. With compassion, love and fierce commitment, we will guide you and walk beside you as you navigate this journey of recovery, hope, and healing. Thank you for inviting us into your world; we are honored to support you.

Recent Episodes
  • 71. Rebuilding Self-Trust After Betrayal
    Nov 20, 2024 – 33:36
  • 49. A Call to Men with Ted Bunch [re-release]
    Nov 1, 2024 – 52:33
  • 70. Consistently be Consistent
    Oct 11, 2024 – 17:24
  • 69. After Betrayal: Moral and Ethical Decisions Beyond the Lies and Deception
    Sep 19, 2024 – 24:20
  • 68. The Unchangeable Truth: We Can't Change Others
    Sep 2, 2024 – 14:11
  • 67. Healing After Betrayal: One Couple's Story
    Aug 22, 2024 – 01:06:32
  • 66. Breaking the Silence: A Woman's Journey Through Pornography Addiction
    Aug 6, 2024 – 40:12
  • 65. Betrayal Violence with Hope Ray
    Jul 24, 2024 – 46:44
  • 64. Financial Shame and Anxiety: Transforming fear to empowerment after betrayal
    Jul 18, 2024 – 43:36
  • 63. Should I stay, or should I go? with Ilyse Craft
    Jul 8, 2024 – 29:40
  • 62: Men and Shame
    Jun 14, 2024 – 40:31
  • 61: The Loss of Memories with Jake Porter
    May 20, 2024 – 51:02
  • 60: Integrity Abuse: The Elephant in the Room
    May 2, 2024 – 19:52
  • 59: Looking Back with Stan Tatkin
    Apr 17, 2024 – 01:20:57
  • 58: One Woman's Story of Hope
    Apr 2, 2024 – 01:00:26
  • 57: One man's story of hope
    Mar 12, 2024 – 27:17
  • 56: Grief & Loss after Betrayal
    Feb 27, 2024 – 35:48
  • 55: Looking Ahead After Betrayal At The Start Of A New Year
    Jan 17, 2024 – 31:21
  • 54 How to Reconstruct a Relationship with Jake Porter
    Oct 21, 2023 – 50:46
  • 53: Shattering the Stigma: Providing Hope for Men Impacted by Betrayal Trauma
    Sep 14, 2023 – 15:48
  • 52: Embracing a Restorative Justice Model After Betrayal
    Aug 7, 2023 – 26:47
  • 51: In Each Other's Care with Stan Tatkin
    Jun 29, 2023 – 55:11
  • 50: The Power of Personal Advocacy and Collaboration in Betrayal Trauma Treatment
    May 22, 2023 – 30:07
  • 49: A Call to Men with Ted Bunch
    Apr 17, 2023 – 52:33
  • 48: Ambiguous Grief with Stephanie Sarazin
    Mar 29, 2023 – 01:00:52
  • 47: Help Them Heal with Carol the Coach
    Feb 23, 2023 – 44:52
  • 46: You Can't Think Your Way Out of Trauma
    Jan 24, 2023 – 56:18
  • 45: Imago Dialogue/Safe Conversations with Harville & Helen - Part 2
    Dec 14, 2022 – 51:32
  • 44: Imago Dialogue/Safe Conversations with Harville & Helen - Part 1
    Nov 9, 2022 – 39:53
  • 43: Living in Limbo
    Oct 21, 2022 – 23:45
  • 42: Wholly Healthy Sex After Betrayal
    Oct 4, 2022 – 47:09
  • 41: Betrayed Partner Trauma Responses
    Sep 9, 2022 – 19:14
  • 40: Community
    Aug 5, 2022 – 44:03
  • Special Episode - Carol The Coach interviews Marnie about the HCH Couples Community
    Jul 21, 2022 – 41:09
  • 39: Life After Recovery
    Jul 6, 2022 – 22:12
  • 38: Transparency After Betrayal
    Jun 20, 2022 – 23:17
  • 37: Time and Expectations
    May 18, 2022 – 26:44
  • 36: Shame
    Apr 26, 2022 – 29:42
  • 35: Sexual Health with Dr. Emily Morse
    Mar 23, 2022 – 48:31
  • 34: Betrayed By Porn
    Mar 2, 2022 – 15:30
  • 33: The Complexity of Trust
    Feb 14, 2022 – 25:26
  • 32: Therapeutic Separation
    Dec 14, 2021 – 31:37
  • 31: Feeling Stuck
    Nov 9, 2021 – 24:28
  • 30: The Truth: A Conversation with Neil Strauss Part 2
    Jun 22, 2021 – 54:18
  • 29: When Feeling of Safety Don't Align: Sexual Recovery is Not Enough
    Jun 7, 2021 – 27:38
  • 28: Couples Therapy: Too Soon or Not Soon Enough?
    Apr 14, 2021 – 25:32
  • 27: PACT Therapy, Attachment and Betrayal Trauma with Stan Tatkin
    Mar 5, 2021 – 01:03:00
  • 26 Finding Professional Support
    Feb 2, 2021 – 25:59
  • 25: Grief & Loss During the Holidays
    Dec 14, 2020 – 20:04
  • 24: Betrayal Trauma & The Polygraph
    Nov 2, 2020 – 01:07:38
Recent Reviews
  • jjhawq
    Very helpful!! Great insight!!
    Very helpful podcast. I can’t thank you enough!!
  • TealCoffeeMug
    Thank you
    This podcast is very helpful. I find it a bit frustrating to hear often that everyone needs a therapist however. Are we the only ones who cannot afford therapists?
  • 3 years into this journey
    They Get It!!!!
    I just can not believe that a podcast could put my feelings into words so well!!!! I’m only about 6 episodes in and I can not tell you how many times tears have sprang to my eyes because somebody completely seems to understand how I feel.
  • AJFCNM
    Highly Recommend
    This podcast is so helpful in affirming and naming the experience I have had and the feelings I have encountered through betrayal trauma. Knowing what I have felt is universal and normal has given me the confidence to trust myself again ❤️
  • jciahnsjcikwmsh
    Episode 56
    My husband and I have listened to many podcasts during our recovery process. This episode is, by far, the best, most concise, spot on discussion of betrayal grief. I’ve already listened to it twice and we are going to listen to it together next. Thank you!!
  • Amybeth1126
    Really insightful and non judgemental pod.
    I happened upon this podcast and started with the most recent, as we are trying to find our way through betrayal. We are in the divorce process, but it's not what I want, though he does not want to be married; he wants to be free and not committed to anyone. I really appreciated the episode about grief after betrayal; it really resonated with me. I sent it to my spouse, who I'm sure won't listen, but I can't force anything. What was mentioned about. Instant triggers is oh so true, as we are sharing the house until the divorce is final and I have some money to move out. Thank you for this real view of what this is like. I hope that some outsiders listen, and think twice before being careless with another person's heart and life, or will just be more kind to others, because you don't know who might be so close to crumbling...
  • JJ122487
    Eye Opening!
    As the betrayer, this podcast has opened my eyes and broken my heart to my actions and the impact on my spouse. It has been challenging, painful, and brutally honest, but does so with grace and hope. I hope that those hurt by betrayal and those who are the betrayers/abusers BOTH listen to this podcast. It will give words, understanding, and steps that can be taken by both parties individually and together to help each other heal.
  • Fern1220
    Great resource
    This podcast has been so enlightening in myself individually, understanding my partner, and all of my close/intimate relationships. It’s really helped put a lot of my own feelings into words that I haven’t had the vocabulary for, which has been transformative for me. I have shared this podcast with my partner, who also appreciated the different perspectives Duane and Marnie bring to their discussions. One of the only things I wish I heard more of was more inclusive pronoun usage. I understand that a lot of people Marnie/Duane/their guests work with identify with he/him and she/her pronouns, so I hear a lot of these specific pronouns being spoken to/about. I would love to hear more they/them instead. Thank you so much for all of the effort and knowledge you share. I wish I had found this podcast along time ago.
  • Doc Bony Bone
    Huge benefit in my recovery
    This is a very positive show, and really helps me in my understanding the trauma I caused my wife.
  • Mom’s subscriptions
    So needed
    This is an extremely helpful podcast for couples that have to deal with sexual addiction and recovery. Very practical information and tools that can help couples become successful in their relationship.
  • Bona and Team Capsho
    A cathartic listen
    Duane
  • Breeckjake
    The best podcast.
    My aunt’s podcast❤️❤️
  • PlasticHead
    So supportive
    Duane and Marnie are experts about betrayal trauma and how to support the healing of the betrayed partner as well as the healing of the betrayer and the relationship. Their podcast has been a huge resource since my first exposure to my husband’s infidelity two months ago. I can’t thank you enough Duane and Marnie.
  • Reviewer JH
    So helpful
    I’m listening to a handful of betrayal healing podcasts and this is one of the very best. The person who betrayed me is also listening and it’s helping him understand the pain of what he has done to me and why it takes more time than he expects for me to get over it. The time involved in finding a local counselor that is a good fit and is able to help, as well as going regularly to appointments, is daunting -with everything in our schedules already with work and kids. (We are trying though to find one.) This podcast is a huge blessing- we can listen to these anytime. The hosts help me sort out the hurtful acts over the years and I feel they put my thoughts and feelings into words. Thank you so much for helping us both see each other’s struggles and work toward the light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Candicetg2
    My safe haven
    I have found the HCH podcast to be my greatest level of support. Often better than my own therapy sessions. I feel heard and understood, and I come away with greater clarity about my own experience and needs for healing. I have recommended this podcast to my husband (who also finds it helpful and clarifying) as well as my fellows who are also recovering from the trauma of betrayal. Thank you Marnie and Duane, and all of your wonderful guests.
  • jennplenty1031
    One of the Goodones
    There are so many bad resources out there for betrayal trauma & recovery….not👏🏻this👏🏻one👏🏻!! So much helpful information. Infidelity is abuse!
  • Indra Weyland
    Helped more than anything else
    This podcast has helped me and my husband more than anything else. The DCSR model was a huge epiphany for my husband and the key to understanding why the addiction model failed him and us. This message is so important. Thank you
  • Shana4443
    A lifeline
    This podcast was the first thing I found that actually helped me and a couple years later it remains one of the best resources out there! 10/10!
  • ArtisticMom2005
    Relatable, healing, eye opening
    Recovering from betrayal creates a tornado of emotions and feelings sometimes all swirled together at once. These responses and uncertainty experienced can create fear of the unknown as we search for safety again. This podcast helps explain the emotions and responses we (as betrayed partners) experience and help us sort through our experiences. It is relatable, brings clarity and helps give us tools we need to walk through this valley. Thank you! I highly recommend this to anyone experiencing betrayal trauma.
  • siddwraith
    I’m glad I found this but I have one thing.
    This has been helping me and my wife to listen independently and then talk about together but I really want to say when you say she, her etc is making hard for me to really connect to the information. I was the one cheated on and I’m the husband so please maybe use more general terms. Love the content overall. Thank you
  • Crxll
    Eye Opening
    I came across this podcast because I felt like I needed advice I’m in a 1yr relationship with a 8mo old baby with my partner . I never understood why I felt certain ways and I don’t just want to easily quit this relationship since we started a family . I can say as the person who got trauma is that In realizing the validation I needed . I hope one day my partner can come across this pod cast I’m understanding myself and in a way him for being the the addict .
  • yet another betrayer
    Great resource
    As a betrayer, I’m finally getting a better idea of how to reconnect with my partner. Episodes 5&6 are a great starting point
  • andrea146
    Finally.
    I’m only a few episodes in and I have already found validation and resources to help me through this trauma. If you have been betrayed in your relationship. Start here.
  • jeffgomez
    Damaging assumptive language
    Thank you for the great content. I have one request. Marnie, can you please stop speaking as if it is assumed that the husband is the betrayer. It is this type of rhetoric that keeps betrayed men in the dark, unable to have their voice heard or feel safe. A quick internet search will show you that in today’s world, women are increasingly the betrayers. Please adjust your verbiage accordingly. Thank you.
  • jenpet02
    Thank you
    I recently been betrayed by my partner. This podcast has brought me so much support as we have gone through discovery and started out healing process. Although we have a long way to go, I am hopeful, empowered, and am constantly learning the more I listen. Thank you so much for this, it’s really has meant so much to me.
  • Queen P454194
    Finally!
    Finally a resource that speaks to what the partner experiences! This is so affirming and healing.
  • char alexa or ma
    Great recovery program
    Long overdue review…..My husband and I have taken the workshop, listened to the podcasts and are now a part of the couples community as well as groups. This is the only program are have found that works for both of us. We both feel we are heard and helped with HCH. Every topic seems to ring true to us and is always right on point with what we need to hear. Although nothing can bring complete relief to the nightmare we are going through this community is the closest we have found. Grateful for Duane, Marnie and their teams for all the insight the bring to the betrayal trauma community.
  • LisaKnoxLife
    Best podcast for betrayal trauma
    I have listened to many podcasts and videos on sex addiction and betrayal trauma. This is by far the best. It is informative and compassionate and empathetic to the betrayed so that offenders can understand how to repair a relationship. Some podcasts are too religious (as a Christian I appreciate that aspect) or the speaker will draw the relationship away from repair or healing. I appreciate every single episode on working to repair a marriage.
  • TonyandBeth321
    Totally feel heard!
    Thank you so much for explaining that my trauma response as a betrayed spouse is normal, I’m not crazy.
  • Carl in recovery
    Very validating information.
    I had a friend in recovery send me episode 16 to listen to. I have been in recovery for four years, an addict for 18 years. This information is so validating it really puts into perspective the damage I’ve done to my wife. Hard truths. I need to hear hard truths. Dr. Minwalla is spot on when he says we need the truth. Thank you so much for this content and keep up the great work my friends.
  • CactusFinder
    Un-ethical Non-monagamy
    This podcast needs to discuss betrayal as intentional by a person - meaning that they have already “justified” their deviant pursuit of sexuality through un-ethical and non--monogamous relationships; the shame or guilt of being “found out,” is what they are responding to! In most cases, sexual compulsions are directly linked to a broad spectrum of events in childhood and they simply do not go away ever. I believe some aspects of this were attempted to be discussed, but I’m not convinced that the message is connected correctly regarding “shame” vs. guilty feelings. I do sympathize with having to discuss it in such a way given, I imagine, your listeners are both perpetrator and victim and desire healing from all of the compulsive, out of control decisions.
  • fruitfuljoy
    Episode 30 with Neil Strauss
    Wouldn’t it have been a good idea, when addressing this particular audience, to offer full disclosure that Neil Strauss is not still married? Instead, the conversation just flowed along, without the disclosure that he was not in fact still married to Ingrid? I found that to be very misguided. And I felt that I was misguided. The truth is the truth is the truth. Just tell it. It doesn’t diminish the wisdom gained along the journey, but it does raise questions when the truth isn’t fully disclosed. As most of us who are listening to this podcast know…
  • MAXELLE5
    “Relationship” Healing Poscast
    I just wrote this but prefer it to be anonymous! Thank you! Thank you so so much for your podcast. I wanted to hear from an author and your podcast pulled up—I am so glad it did! I don’t want to stay married (28 years) - it’s 3 years after “D” - but of course I want our relationship to thrive as we move into college / adult age relationships with our kids— and I want us both to be SO healthy and a much better example for them! Thank you thank you!
  • Simplysue2
    Wowed! 🙏🏻
    Episode 27..should be listened to by all therapist dealing with couples in betrayal trauma. It is a MUST listen to for couples who are affected by betrayal. It’s a solid guide for healthy and attainable recovery. This an awesome podcast. Every episode is beneficial to me. I 💗 all of them. I just found episode 27 such a great outline of healing. It is one of the best if not the very best podcast I have ever heard on the recovery journey. Thank you Marnie and Duane for your support on our journey of healing. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
  • Mamacanread
    Super helpful
    There are so many issues that are brought up and addressed. I have learned so much. I struggle with having hope that we CAN heal from numerous issues and they cover it all in a way that brings hope.
  • Bible 11:28
    Extremely Beneficial
    I love love love this podcast series. It is so helpful, healing and supportive. I am a partner, 2 years after discovery and I am still learning things from the podcast. It is very helpful to understand how the treatment model has evolved because in my current partner 12 step group there are still partners telling me to evaluate my own codependency to the addict. This podcast is very validating and helps me respond to what feels like accusations when I had no clue about him having sex at strip clubs. I didn’t even know that was a thing. There was no evidence to be found, no texts, no website history of porn, no receipts, no bank statements. This is one podcast I always recommend to others.
  • winetalker
    Just listen to the first episode
    It’s 17 months since the day and we are both trying to work towards some type of healing in this relationship. This first podcast was very encouraging and we are looking forward to listening to more of Dwayne and Marnie.
  • Cared4nloved
    WOW!! Where where you guys 20 years ago!
    This podcast is a MUST for anyone who’s dealt with cheating or even abuse via gaslighting, this is for YOU!!!
  • Betrayedpartner87
    Best podcast ever!!
    I can’t tell you how life-changing and eye-opening this podcast has been for me and my partner! Marnie and Duane, you are incredible therapists and I’m so glad I found you guys! I want to help spread your teachings as far and wide as possible. Everybody needs to listen to this podcast!!
  • skfhudj
    Best podcast ever!! It actually helps
    Binge listening since finding this podcast. So much good and helpful info. I wish these people had been my therapist since the beginning. I must now grieve decades of not helpful therapy. Thank you for making this podcast!
  • CbrookHorn
    Cream of the Crop Podcast
    I have been in the Addict/Betrayed Partner universe since 2006, with each of us doing the most healing from 2017-present. I’ve listened to a lot of podcasts, and this one is tops. I recommend it often to people who come to our partners’ support meeting not knowing where to start.
  • SinkingSwimmer3
    Thank you so very much!
    I’ve been listening to this podcast for over a year now and I simply cannot say enough about the amount of knowledge I’ve gained from each and every episode! Omar Minwalla, Stan Tatkin, and countless others have managed to answer the very questions that have kept me up through so many sleepless nights. Marnie and Duane know exactly what questions to ask and how to empathetically address their audience. I hope that these two brilliant therapists keep picking the brains of the most recent researchers so that listeners across the world can benefit from the healing information out there.
  • Anjel F
    Thank you!
    After many years of searching for help and being re-traumatized in therapy, I am so happy and encouraged to find information that aligned with my own experiences. Even after years of therapy I have not been able to heal. Thank you for getting this out there!
  • Need to walk more!
    Validating and helpful
    I started listening to the Dr. Minwalla interviews and felt so comforted by learning of the trauma model and how validating it is. After those episodes I started at the beginning. In every single episode I learn something new about my experience and also learn a better understanding of my husbands experience. They provide perspective in complete 360. It’s validating for all parties and I can feel the desire to truly help everyone in the sad situation of relationship betrayal and the trauma it creates in each party. I feel hopeful for the first time in months. I want to feel more like myself. I’m not there yet but I feel stronger just knowing I’m not alone or crazy and there are success stories. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are a blessing in broken world of betrayal.
  • JJHam
    Hope others find this resource
    I feel more validated and seen than i have for years. The podcasts w Dr Minwalla have given me the boundaries i need to move forward for me. This is life changing and life saving. Please continue the work of putting this information out there. I’ve sadly Lived the last 20 years of this as the field went from addiction model w partner being a co addict (not helpful at all) to a person w a decade or two of ptsd to now unpack as now the field understands what i mean when i say “i fell like a war veteran at times” having lived w the lies of omission of a white knuckling spouse not currently acting out but doing almost everything else on the lists. Thank you for putting a name and words to my lives experience. Alas help is available.
  • kellieree
    Life & Sanity Saving
    The information provided in this podcast has reconstructed my thinking around betrayal and offered a sense of sanity in a completely disorganized and chaotic time. If you need support, grounded in solid research from the DCSRD model, and crave to feel understood, seen, and supported with accurate information and resources, this podcast is the place to start. Thank you HCH for your work in recovery, these episodes, and for holding this space to speak out the truth about betrayal trauma. 🤍
  • lisamwh
    Very helpful!
    Marnie and Duane (and their guests) share up-to-date, trauma-informed, relational help for couples who’ve dealt with betrayal. Both my husband and I have benefitted a great deal from their knowledge and empathy with couples who’ve dealt with betrayal trauma.
  • MW11eleven
    So helpful and validating!
    These are the best and most informative podcasts I have found on this topic. So thankful these are available!
  • the lady with the big cowbell
    Thank you for your help!
    Thank you for your help!
  • RFR1018
    Helpful
    Thankful to have found such a helpful podcast.
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